How To: Deal with people who like to start arguments

Conflict is a part of life but how you deal with that conflict is up to you. You may find yourself in an argument and instead of making it a shouting match, employ some techniques that will be sure to keep this conversation civil.

Some people just love to argue. Since you won't always be able to avoid them, learn some techniques for defusing the argument and keeping the peace.

You Will Need

* Understanding
* Defusing techniques
* Self-control
* Patience
* Focus
* A willingness to walk away

Step 1: Understand people who like to argue

Understand that argumentative people, especially if they tend to become aggressive, have a deep-rooted personal problem. They like to argue, and they like to win – period.

Step 2: Be aware and engage defusing techniques

Recognize that the person who started to argue with you may be this kind of person. Begin to employ defusing techniques.

Step 3: Don't engage in an argument with them

Don't get drawn into an argument or, if already drawn in, try to win it. You won't – at least not without causing the argument to escalate and possibly turn nasty.

Step 4: Listen to them

Listen to what the person has to say and don't cut them off, which will only anger them.

Step 5: Show that you are listening and respect their view

Use words that show you respect their views and repeat their main points to show that you are listening.

Some positive phrases to use are "I believe what you are saying is…," "I understand," and "Thanks for letting me know your opinion."

Step 6: Use self-control and stay focused on the issues

Use self-control and stay focused on the issues being discussed. Don't let the person turn the discussion back into a no-win argument.

Step 7: Walk away

If this person is determined to argue, say something neutral, like, "I'll have to give this more thought," and walk away.